Pictures of the Week

Probably one of the most mortifying pictures the world has ever seen. This bird, whoever she is, is now in a corner of her room crying, I am very confident in that fact. Besides the extremely sexy stain, we must also appreciate the fashion sense. What the fuck is she wearing. Also, look at the mad looking cunt to the left, in the background - this is a picture that keeps on giving, and you can bet your bollix they are Irish, they could be no other nationality.

Now, dodgy tatoos are a regular topic with me and my mates, we have all seen our fair share but nothing prepared us for this little beauty, or should I say, massive beauty. There is so much wrong with this tatoo, it is beyond laughing. Not only is it just plain hideous but the featuring player, Mr. Tevez, is currently in talks with both Milan clubs in hope that he can escape the damp, drizzly surroundings of Manchester. Not only does he hate Manchester, but he hates the club that are paying him 250, 000 a week, he hates the manager, the owners, the other player and I wouldn't say he's too fond of the fans. He has refused to play for the club even though he is getting paid this outragous amount of money and he will be gone before the end of this next transfer window, and this absolute moron has to walk around with that shit on his back for the rest of his life. Secondly, its not exactly a tatoo of Man City winning the Champo League or even the Premiership, its the fucking FA Cup. I could be here all day disecting this photo, I haven't even mentioned the fact that after this photo was taken, the dude with the camera was cover in puss, as Man City boy shot him with every white head he had.

This one is so tragically terrifying, there is so much going on in this photo, you could seriously write a full feature length script with this picture as your inspiration and there are a million directions you could go with it. First off, the obvious, the bird has a nasty shiner, a shiner that can only be got from one place. Secondly, look at the bloke, he definetly looks as though he is capable of giving the shiner. He looks as though he would pistol whip you into next week, he looks as though if you crossed him, he would kick ten colors of shite out of you. Okay, now look at the kid, the kid is black, see where is story is going - brilliant!

This picture is like one of those puzzles, it took me a good six or seven minutes to focus on what was actually happening. All I could see was the cock, simple as that. Again, very Irish looking, I'd say this bird is either laughing or crying at the moment, lets hope the latter, its funnier.

My mate showed me this clip about a week ago and I was blown away. This guy, this wiz kid on Ableton, broke down exactly what Liam Howlett did when he made Voodoo People. He found all the samples he used and bit by bit, he pieces it together. Check it out, it is well worth it


If you’re one of those people like me who is vacantly looking at our presidential candidaites and scratching your head about who to vote for, well, look no further than this clip and we have a winner. Michael D n this clip for me has to take it home, he is personification on what it is to be the president of this country and I for one will be voting for him – sorry Jolly Bren


Here is a tasty clip that I revved me up when when all I needed was to be revved up, it was about 8 in the morning, we were in my mate, Hugh’s gaf in the midst of a session from hell. People were fading left, right & centre and up popped none other than a good mate of mine, Gary Humphries. He swaned over to the laptop and whacked this baby on. We were all immediately on our feet.


Here is a sweet music video and a sweet tune for that matter, my mate Russell showed it to me a few month ago. It from the ex-lead singer of Hercules and Love Affair, Kim Foxman. The vogueing, if that’s how you spell it, is absolutely amazing in this video. Quality stuff.


Okay, Dave Fincher, the rightful owner of last years Best Director Oscar, his next project looks pretty sweet and could earn him another shot at the title. I am not a fan of American remakes of foreign film but the trailer for The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo looks slick as a motherfucker, check it out.

Over the last year, there has been one film that seemed to blow everybody I know away, Inception. The story was savage, the special effects were like nothing anyone had ever seen before, the film had a cast and a director that kicked fucking ass . . . . . what else? Oh, yeah, the score was absolute epic, so epic that these guys decided to do a version of their own, an ‘A cappella’ version, they were also very kind enough to over dub some dialogue as well.





Here is a piece of footage that proves Diego Maradona is truly a fucking nut job and without a shadow of a doubt does not give a fuck. The opposing team miss their last penalty, and up steps Maradona to take the potentially winning kick. As he walks by the player that has just miss his penalty, he confidently goes over and gives him the worlds most patronising tossle of the hair. Is Maradona going to score the winner, you can bet your bollix he is, you know it before takes it. He kicks, it goes and they win. What does Maradona do then but take a banger of Charlie on international television, what a mad cunt!





It’s an oldie but for all of you who haven’t seen Snatch Wars, this is a treat, never have Darth Vader sounded so vicious. You cant deny Alan Ford delivers a line with a venom that no other actor can. I only wish he was in other stuff, he is a one trick pony but I love the trick.





This is probably one of the creepiest clips of all time; it is pretty much a paedophile at work, look at the inappropriate grin on your mans face and you can clearly see these kids don’t want to be there. Cant you believe he managed to get away with this.





This clip is proof that Ricky Gervais and Steven Merchant a fucking hilarious when they are just fucking about in their gaf. This reminds me I have to watch Extras again, its been ages.

I wanted to kick these five clips off with one of the most impressive things I have ever seen. Legendary big band drummer, Buddy Rich, is introduced by Frank Sinatra as tonight’s special guest band leader. It is a mix mash of swing, jazz and musical then into one of the most outrageously skilful drum solos the world has ever seen. Now, I am normally bored to tears with drum solos, watching kids do it on the internet etc, but Buddy Rich makes it musical and entertaining – A true legend.



Moving onto something completely different, my mates, Oscar & Greg showed me this clip, the rapper in question is Red, a homeless bloke who gets his beats by hitting his fist against his chest. I think this little piece is sweet as fuck



Sticking on this little Hip Hop buzz, here is the new Beastie Boys video, the track dynamite, back on form for the Beasties. The video is gas; I prefer this one, the shorter one. There is a longer one on youtube; it’s about a half hour longwith so many celebrities in it, you’d swear you were in Lillies.



Okay, I wanted to move onto something a little more disturbing. My mate, Laura showed me this whilst in the middle of a session, I could not believe what I was seeing. I think it’s made by some Dutch television company. It’s a version on Dynasty but all the actors have down syndrome, the program was appropiatly named Downsty. How insane is this shit?



And I just wanted to grab this out of the Male Menopaws archive in hope that there will be one shortly. The Male Menopaws AKA Greg Spring vs Jono Black have been very quiet I recent times, I don’t think they realise how the word needs another tune and a video to go with it. If you haven’t checked this out – get it into you.

Clip 1 - If you still haven't checked out The Trip starring Steve Coogan & Rob Brydon, well, there must be something wrong with you. Stop what you're doing, go out, find your nearest HMV or Tower Records and purchase a copy immediately. This clip got me hooked – it will get you hooked.


Clip 2 – Last month saw the South Park’s Trey Parker & Matt Stone sweep the boards at the 65th Tony Awards, would you believe. Their mega hit on Broadway, The Book of Mormon pretty much took home every accolade it was nominated for. My oul’pair are heading over next month and they have tickets, they got them for a $150 a ticket, now, you might be thinking, that is some ridiculously over priced shit but, no, they got a deal, they are going for $650 on ebay, supposedly you cant get a ticket for months.


Clip 3 – Speaking of awards, the coveted Palm d’Or at the Cannes Film Festival was awarded to the photographic genius that is Terrence Mallick for his new film, Tree of Life. As usual, you can see from this clip, that Mallick’s attention to cinematic perfection is so present once more. I tip this as a contender for the Best Picture Oscar next year, and as for the Original Score, I think it's Alexandre Desplat's year. It looks epic.


Clip 4 – This is an amazing interview, Chris Morris, the man who brought us Brass Eye and The Day Today, on his radio show back in 1993 as his altar ego, Wayne Carr and he has the ‘Legendary’ pop sensation, 2 Unlimited in the studio. Check this out.


Clip 5 – Finally, we’ll finish with the relaxing sounds of filmmaker, Werner Herzog, as he reads to us psychology behind the man we know as Waldo